Day Three

On Sunday October 2, 2011, my Dad and I went to the orphanage together to see my new baby brother! Joe and Maddie were feeling really sick, otherwise they would have gone too. The day before I stayed "home" with Joe and didn't go to the orphanage, so it had been a day since I had seen him. We arrive to the orphanage after picking up some meds for Joe at the pharmacy.

We waited a few minutes and then saw an older boy bringing him up the little hill around the corner, which they always do. Miles was dressed in a yellow and orange outfit… very handsome. My dad picked him up and he cried, but only for a good minute. Then he was his quiet, reserved, and stoic little self.

We talked with him and tried to interact. We pulled out the book to read, and he watched pretty well. We showed him some of the family pictures we brought. He likes the picture of our beagle, Ella Bella. There was another couple outside and we didn’t want any distractions, so we decided to go in to the little waiting room and sit with him.

As he was sitting on my dad's lap, he continued to look out the door (for the sisters no doubt) and didn't pay any attention to anything that we were going inside. My dad put the car out to offer it to him, but he moved his body away in rejection. OK. We put it on the table in front of him, so he could take it if he wanted to. I just happened to adjust the cross necklace my boyfriend Adrian gave me to wear on the trip, and I saw that Miles noticed it. So I moved my body to the right, and his eyes followed, and then to the left, and he followed again. I took it off and put it on the table in front of me and slowly moved it closer to him. His breath sped up, but he didn’t touch the cross or the car.

After a few moments, he moved his hand up as if to touch one of them, but like lighting, stopped himself. The wall was still intact.

I began to move my hand, wiggling my fingers opening and closing my hand. And then we looked and noticed that he was beginning to copy my hands with his.

We visited for a while, but soon it was time to go. We rang the bell to call the sisters. One came, but didn’t really seem to want to take him from us even though it was after visiting hours. During the visit we could hear drumming and singing. The sister asked if we wanted to join a celebration. We walked down a few steps and into a room about the size of an elementary school classroom. The beds had been moved to one side to create a dance floor and there were kids dancing everywhere, singing and clapping. We put Miles down and he went off with his little group of kids his age. The sisters invited us to sit and watch. Then a girl with special needs came over to me, grabbed my hand, and insisted I go to the middle of the room to dance with them. So I did! I followed along and clapped with them. The songs were so pretty (in the Rwandan language) and all the kids (young and old, about 25 of them) new the special beat to each song. They smiled and danced. It was one of the most beautiful things I have ever experienced. I loved seeing their smiles and watching their little personalities. The older girls (about 10-11 years old) wore white dresses and had wraps on their heads. They all knew the words and the dance moves very well. Each had their own sassy attitude when they danced.

During this little festivity, we watched Miles clap to the beat. One of the older boys got Miles up and led him through the kids to us. When he approached, he went to my dad to hold him! That lasted a minute. He soon got down but didn't leave. He just wanted to be a big independent boy and sit in the chair next to my dad. Moments later, he stood up and danced for a second. One of the nuns noticed and went "Oh look at Ignateous! He's dancing!" He looked up and gave her a big smile! It was the first time we had seen it. He is so sweet!

At the end of the party, one of the nuns brought out a huge basket of little candies. The kids ran and jumped at them! They were so excited.

Soon it was time to go. I was speechless with what I had just experienced. I had prayed to God before we went that I would be able to see his work and do his work. I prayed to have experiences that would change my life. I tried to hold back tears as we left, because to see all these children dancing and joyous touched my heart. The fact that I was able to share this celebration with them was something that I will never ever forget.

We gathered our stuff and walked to the door. When we looked back, I waved real big, like I had done earlier, and said bye to Miles. He lifted his hand and gave us a big strong wave goodbye.

Day Two with Miles

Saturday, October 1, 2011

We decided to sleep in today, Saturday, to try and get our inner clocks in sync with Rwanda. Joe was still feeling under the weather…we found out that it wasn't the malaria medicine after all. Joe brought an uninvited traveler with him…Strep throat. Jeff madly sent off e-mails to his brother Dave, Krista and his mom. Dave responded first. He spoke to a pharmacist and the on-call doctor who suggested amoxicillin. So Jeff will buy some of that at a pharmacy tomorrow.

We didn't want to leave Joe alone, so Andrea volunteered to stay with him so Jeff and I could go visit with Miles. It was difficult to leave Joe, but we knew that he would be safe at the guesthouse and Miles really needed us.

We went into the Home of Hope for the afternoon visit, from 3-5pm. We pulled up to OUR blue gates and honked for the doorman to open the gates. We pulled in and were ready to see Miles. We brought more toys today and books, hoping to spark his interest in something.

We saw the nun bring Miles up the path and he was dressed to the 9s. He had an orange plaid button-up shirt, a pair of dressy black shorts and some cute high top black boots. He looked pretty stylin'. Once he saw us, he knew something was up. He didn't really want to stay with us, but the nun did the hand-off to us like ripping a bandaid… quick and painless.

He cried today more than he did on Friday. The Holders (another family we know who just left Kigali) let us know that day two for them was a little more intense than day one, so we were prepared. His initial discomfort with us and the crying is actually a good thing. It shows his ability for attachment, something that will be critical in the weeks and months to come.

We showed Miles his toy car and he pushed it away with disgust. So, Jeff and I just held him close, patted his back and let him just do his thing, crying and calling out to the sister in a Rwandan word we couldn't understand. Eventually, he stopped crying, and we were able to read the Very Hungry Caterpillar from beginning to end, two times. He hasn't talked to us, but the nun said that he is a TALKER and that he always lets them know when one of the children is not doing what they should be doing.

It was a nice visit. We just need patience. He needs time. I think this journey has prepared us for the long journey ahead. Our family has waited almost two years for Miles, and we are prepared to continue this journey as long as it takes to have him feel whole and a part of our family. We feel so blessed to have him as a part of our family.

So day two is over. We are ready to see him again tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day, and a million days after that.

Africa New Life Guest House

6:46am Saturday 1 Oct 2011

Yesterday was amazing for so many reasons. We saw Miles for the first time. We arrived in Africa. Africa! We celebrated Maddie's birthday, eating a great African dinner at Republika with Peter and three other families, babies in tow, who are a few weeks ahead of us.

After a much needed good night's sleep, I'm just lying in bed. It's still mostly dark outside. Every so often, a dog barks. Aside from the uniqueness of the bird sounds, I could be anywhere in the world.

Gardens at the New Life Guest House

The Africa New Life Guest House where we're staying is a really nice place. Through the gates and up the driveway, the main house is surrounded by gardens. We have two rooms. Andrea and Maddie are in one with two double beds. Joe and I are next door in a room with three bunk beds. We share a bathroom. The guesthouse serves breakfast, lunch, and dinner. We look forward to eating here today, breakfast and lunch. We met another couple staying here who we found out founded the guest house back in 2006. They have a lot of stories to tell and provide a thorough history of the place.

Meeting Miles

Friday, September 30, 2011

Miles was a bit reserved when we saw him for the first time. He cried for several long minutes searching around for the comforting arms of the nun, well, any nun, who would take him. The sister who brought him to us quietly disappeared into a garden area so he would have no choice but to get used to us.

About a half hour earlier, we drove in two cars down a bumpy dirt road to get to the orphanage. Andrea and Maddie were with Peter, our guide here, in the lead car. Joe and I followed with a driver Peter hired. We looked and looked for those special blue gates. Problem is, ALL the gates are blue. We passed a school with hundreds of screaming kids playing games. This sits next to a house for street kids, a safe place where they can get nourished spiritually and physically, and find rest. More winding turns. More hills. More blue gates. Then I saw it. The sign. THE sign. I gasped a little. And the tears began.

I used to have a photo of this sign with this particular blue gate as a screen saver. It's hard to believe we're seeing it for ourselves. A couple honks of the horn and the gates opened up. In we drove.

While the sister went to get him, Peter waited with us in a small room adorned with a huge photo of Mother Theresa. We were antsy. We were nervous. Crying. Smiling. I had to get up. We couldn't just sit there. Outside the little room, there are flower gardens and a covered parking area. We waited. I paced.

Inside the blue gate at the Home of Hope

Andrea waited with the video camera ready. Any minute now. Peter was busy talking to a gentleman who works at the orphanage. They were in a spot where they could see farther down the hill. After a few more minutes, Peter turned and smiled. He's coming.

Up the steps from below, first we could see the sister appear, then we could see she was walking slowly, holding someone's hand.  Then, what seemed like slow motion, we saw his face and then his cute little body walking carefully with the sister. They made it to the top of the stairs and across the driveway toward us.

The sister spoke quietly to him, telling him we were his mama and papa. He wasn't too sure about that. Clutching his little toy phone, he waited in safe proximity to the sister. He was reserved. We knelt down and talked quietly for a few moments. Then it was time. Maddie held her boy. There were tears. He cried. She cried. Different reasons. The rest of us wiped tears, enjoying this moment for all that it meant for the two of them.

Miles is a strong little boy. He did everything he could to get away. Maddie and I took turns holding him. After a few minutes, he reached for Andrea, who had the good fortune of wearing white. Andrea's white sweater made Miles think she was a nun. She took him, but he quickly figured out he'd been tricked. And the crying, which stopped for a moment, continued. From there it was Joe's turn. After a few more moments, at last, there was quiet. Joe IS the child whisperer. They walked out a few steps and looked at a truck that was parked in the driveway. Joe spoke quietly to him. Miles just looked around quietly clutching his toy phone.

From then on, while he wasn't thrilled with the idea of being with us, he was quiet. Very quiet. Looking around, still unsure, clutching the phone. We learned later that he's normally chatty. We can't wait to see that side of him.

Over the next hour or so, we just held him and talked to him. He offered his phone to Maddie. A nice rainstorm passed over and we went under the covered parking spot and then into the small waiting room again. Inside we visited.

I held him in the doorway of the small room, looking out into the flower garden. I just hummed and whispered to him about the rain and the thunder and all the pretty things we were seeing. I thought of my dad and found myself doing the same things he used to do. Miles quietly rested his head against mine and I could feel little butterfly kisses on my cheek. Thank you Jesus.

We ended the visit a short time later with some "see you tomorrows". The sister came and held him. As they walked away, he waved and cried a little. It was a big day for a little guy.

(P.S. We'll show you "the moment" when we are allowed to after we clear court.)

Kigali, Rwanda

Friday, September 30, 2011

Boarding our flight from Nairobi to Kigali

We boarded our flight after our long layover in Nairobi. Just before take off, Maddie spotted a bunch of police cars and other vehicles approaching the plane. Some people in suits got out and shook hands. Then a few of them boarded the plane. We later learned that it was the Vice President of Burundi and his staff. The flight stopped in Burundi before continuing on to Kigali. During the stop, a gentleman with a Rwandan flag lapel pin came to talk to us. He introduced himself and talked with us for a few minutes. Turns out, he's from the Rwandan Ministry of Transportation. He visited the Boeing plant in Washington recently to accept Rwandair's new jet. From there, the flight to Kigali was less than an hour it seemed. As we descended, we saw the hilly landscape that Rwanda is famous for. The red soil. The hilltop villages. Thirty something hours after leaving home, we'd finally arrived in the land of a thousand hills.

Nairobi Airport

Friday, September 30, 2011
3:03am

Maddie and the kids are trying to sleep on rearranged airport furniture. It's not good sleep, but it's sleep. We're an hour into our eight-hour layover.

Sleeping, well trying, at the Nairobi airport

It's raining outside and humid inside. The airport is older but is very clean. We're in a hallway outside a 24-hour restaurant. Restaurant workers make regular treks past us carting away spent cartons then returning with stock for the busy day ahead.

There are other stranded travelers around, each with their own style of making due with airport furniture arms that disallow laying down proper. One of two western travelers across from us let's out a good snore once every few minutes.

The flights were good so far. The LA to Istanbul leg (12+hours) went faster than it should have. There were plenty of on-demand movies to watch and a non-full flight, which made for some nice elbow room. If "Turkish airplane food" is any indication of real Turkish food, then I'm a fan. Istanbul looked interesting from the little we saw. Wouldn't mind spending more time there. The next flight to Nairobi (6+ hours) was fine. No complaints except for a fanny that's getting tired of sitting.

Joe has been pretty miserable, feeling side effects of the malaria medication. He's awake again. Sitting up with a blank stare of misery and tiredness.

It's hard to believe we're in Africa. It's been quite a long day so far and will soon turn into a big day... Maddie's birthday and the day we get to meet our boy.

It's a BOY!

It is with great excitement that we announce we will be having a 2 year old (and 4 months, but who's counting...) boy.

We will be leaving for Rwanda to meet him on Wednesday! We are all beyond the moon to meet him and welcome him into our family. All of us will be going, so this will be one family trip that none of us will ever forget!

We will try to update the blog as much as we can and will post pictures when we are able to (it's a legal thing).

Thank you to everyone for all of your support over the last 21 months! We appreciate your love and prayers!

Woo-Hoo!!!