Blessings from God

Our dossier is off to Rwanda! It should be in the hands of our lawyer by Tuesday, so please keep its safe travels in your prayers. FedEx doesn’t insure the actual value of the contents, only the materials inside. So basically, they would buy us a ream of paper.

Let’s back up a few days. We received our certified dossier from our courier in Washington DC (Dependable ACS – Totally AWESOME experience!) this past Friday morning. I waited until Jeff was home from his trip so we could open it together. After we got over the shock of it being here, Jeff actually read the letter from the Embassy. He noticed a slight typo (really not a typo since God is fully in charge of this ENTIRE process!). Instead of it reading:

“The couple has expressed a desire to adopt one child, 0-2 years old, or a sibling set, 0-3 years old,” it said: “The couple has expressed the desire to adopt two children, 0-2 years old, or a sibling set, 0-3 years old.”  After hyperventilating for a few moments, Jeff was able to calm me down.

From my conversations with Becky and Suzanne, the only way that an adoptive family would get two children is if they specifically asked for two. Since our home study said one and maybe two, we figured it would 99.9% be a single adoption. While this single sentence doesn’t guarantee that we will get two children, it certainly has opened up the door.

We knew that it may be heading this way because we got two identical cribs & changing tables from two completely different families; two almost matching gender neutral swings and playpens; and everything else has seemed to come in sets. Is this typo merely a coincidence? –or-  has the door been opened to have our world changed by two beautiful children?

Another bit of exciting news was an email from our lawyer, Agnes, who said that Rwanda is hiring a group of consultants to help process the backlog of dossiers. This means that instead of the minimum 6 month waiting period, we could get our referral much sooner. We should be a larger family before the end of the year!

It’s amazing to watch God in this entire process. His hand has been in every aspect. Any time we have had a challenge, He has conquered it for us. Any fears that we have had, he has put us at ease. Our pastor talked about pressing into God this past Sunday. When you feel alone or scared or unsure of where you are going, press into God and your path will be revealed to you; He will guide you. It’s become more and more evident as we go through this process that we are pressing into God, fully trusting in Him, to the N-th degree. We are trusting Him with our family, finances, safety, worries…the list goes on and on. I think we have both always known that God will never let us go, but this is the first time as a couple and a family, that we are surrendering every aspect of our lives and His provisions have been more than we could have ever imagined.

Last year was a rough year. I wanted to be a mom more than anything. Maybe it was the ever-looming birthday that is coming this year. Maybe it was that all of my friends were having or had had babies, and it seemed like every woman I saw was pregnant. I wanted to be happy for all of them, and I was (honestly!), I guess I just wanted to be part of the club. Andrea & Joe are wonderful kids, but I’m not their mom. To them I’m just Maddie. I wanted someone to call me mom. I was in a sad place, feeling a little deserted by God. Why had this desire been put into my heart? Why had I had to go through two unsuccessful pregnancies? I knew that He hadn’t abandoned me deep down, but I was beginning to want to start a pity party.

As I look back, I had to go through all of that so that I would be able to fully appreciate this adoption. I want this more than anything in the world! I knew that Jeff and I would adopt, but my plan was all laid out. We would have already had a few kids and then we would add to our brood. I’m at a place in my life that if this is the only way I will be able to have kids of my own, I will be completely content! (I will miss not being able to wear all of the cute maternity clothes though!) I feel like I will be able to help other women who want to be moms and have kids, see that adoption is just as good! You aren’t less of a woman or wife or mother because you didn’t carry them in your womb. It’s just a different way of being a mom!

Sorry for the long post, but my mind is racing! The bottom lines are:

1. Dossier is sent to Rwanda

2. Rwanda is trying to process them sooner, rather than later

3. The door has been opened for more than one baby

4. There is a huge possibility that we will have our baby/babies by the end of the year

Our family would like to thank you all for your continued prayers and support! We wouldn’t be this far without it!