Meeting Miles Video

It's almost 10pm here on Sunday night, October 16th, in Nairobi. Andrea is editing images from our safari today. (It was amazing.) Joe has his headphones on and is busy on Facebook. And Maddie and Miles are trying to go to sleep.

We have a big day tomorrow... Miles' second day at the medical clinic and then off to the embassy. Prayers please. We hope to have a quick finish and get home.

Thinking back to that first day back on September 30th, seems like ages ago. We've come a long way since that first encounter. With Miles, laughter is more frequent, crying less frequent (usually when he wants his way... he is 2 after all), and each day is a new adventure. Yesterday he learned how to drink from a straw and experienced soda for the first time. Today, Joe introduced him to headphones. The two of them dancing was excellent. And finally, we're all back to good health, except for home sickness, which we all have.

Like I mentioned earlier, please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. We're longing for a quick return home.

Now for your viewing pleasure... As promised, here's a short video of our trip to Kigali and our first time meeting Miles.

Lots of Updates!

Sorry, we haven't been the best bloggers over the past few days...


So much has happened! Here's the nitty gritty...


We got our passport for Miles in 4 days! This is awesome news! We have an emergency appointment tomorrow (Thursday) at the Embassy in Kigali. This will enable us to go to Nairobi early so we can get Miles' medical appointments done. Since he is over 2 years old, he has to have a TB test. We are praying that we will follow suit of 2 other families who processed through Nairobi in 1 day! (after medicals that is) If all goes well, we will be back home by 3:30pm next Wednesday! 


A few other things to touch on...


Our POA Peter is just...AMAZING! We can't imagine doing any of this without his help. His family is wonderful and we were able to worship with him at his church last Sunday. We also visited his house and we able to bless one of his neighbors with food and love. More on that later too! 


Miles is totally meant to be in our family. We found out that he had been previously referred to a family and they said no! How could someone say "No" to my little boy? I'm glad they did because he is ours. He is a Hendrych! 


Okay, well it's late, I'm tired, Miles wants me and we have a busy day! 


More updates to come, we promise!

He's ours!

The courtroom was a cozy place. Packed in were three adoptive families, a few lawyers with their clients, and ten very well-behaved jailbirds dressed in pink. In the first item of business, the judge called the Hendrych family to come forward. With the assistance of our lawyer, Norbert, Maddie and I took our position at a podium in front of the judge's desk. The judge then read his ruling out loud (in French), signed the order, and with that...

Miles Joseph Hendrych is ours!

On top of that, against all odds, we got the ruling in time to make it to the passport office and stay on schedule. More on this topic later.

We have been blessed over and over on this trip. I am in awe of what can only be God's careful positioning of people and circumstances to help us through this process. Maddie and I would like to thank each of you for your prayers. They're working. Please keep them going, as the toughest part of our journey has yet to come.


Please enjoy these photos taken over the last week. You can click them to enlarge. More photos and a video to come...

A Heavy Day

We began Tuesday with a visit to the Rwanda Genocide Memorial. We wanted to go during our trip, and Peter suggest we do it now. It's not a place for small children.

The memorial is a fitting and respectful tribute to the 1,000,000 men, women, and small children who were systematically killed in a period of just 100 days in the spring of 1994. The exhibits begins back in colonial times and traces the origin of the hatred that spilled out in the genocide. The site is also a mass grave, holding the remains of more than 250,000 of those killed. Mourners still come to the site to pay respects. The toughest part of the exhibit was the children's section. I noticed a few of the visitors wiping tears as they passed through this section. I can't say I escaped without shedding a few myself. Joe asked me how it's possible people could do this. I still don't have an answer.

One of the mass graves on the Memorial Centre site

The children's exhibit

The most interesting aspect of the genocide in Rwanda isn't the brutality. Other such human catastrophes share the cruelty and the numbers of those killed. What makes Rwanda different is the recovery they've made in just 17 years. They're back on their feet economically, the streets are safe, and national unity is a top priority. You can imagine what would happen to a country of this size (about the size of Vermont) with all of those deaths and the mass exodus of more than 2,000,000 refugees who were escaping for their lives or for fear of being retaliated against. But Rwanda isn't your usual country. They have a tremendous source of pride and are working hard to be the star of Africa. As for justice, there was simply no way to prosecute and jail all of those responsible. Instead of retribution, the court system promoted reconciliation by offering those accused the opportunity admit their crimes and seek forgiveness while still serving some time. With all of that violence, time will tell if this formula breaks the cycle that began hundreds of years ago. But they're off to a good start.

If you want to see what we saw, you can visit the Kigali Genocide Memorial Centre website.

In the afternoon, Peter took us to lunch at another authentic African restaurant. Good stuff! I really like African food. There are the usuals... beans and rice and potatoes and a lot of stew-like dishes to mix in. Then there's matoke, which is a banana that tastes like potato and is served either mashed or with vegetables. Yum. I think every culture has its tortilla. Some call it pita or whatever. Here it's kaunga, a thick bread that's grilled but is still slightly doughy. It's good. There's a lot of salads and fruit. It's a lot more normal than we thought it would be.

Lunch with Peter and Julius at African Bite

Yum

However, the restroom situation is NOT normal, but it's not what you might think. Many of the signs here are in French and many of the bathroom rules are different. At the restaurant, Maddie wandered into a restroom only to encounter a gentleman using a urinal. She exited in a panic. Can you IMAGINE the look on her face? She inquired where she should go with a restaurant employee who was standing nearby. He told her to go back in. "It's OK," he said. Apparently, unisex restrooms are not just on Ally McBeal. I walked up a few moments later, making sure she was OK. After a few moments, she emerged with extremely wide eyes and that uncontrollable Maddie smile. We laughed all the way back to the table. Only Maddie.

In the afternoon, we visited with Miles at the Home of Hope. It wasn't a very good visit. We were in a funk, partly from what we experienced at the memorial centre earlier in the day and partly because Miles wasn't in the mood for visiting with his new "muzungu" friends. (Muzungu is the local term for white folks... it means "confused person wandering about" in Swahili). We held him for a long while but he didn't want to play. He smiled once or twice, but for the most part, he was Mr. Serious. When it was time to go, we got to take him down the stairs and see where he and his little roommates live in the orphanage. That will be another story for another time.

A little discouraged, we departed back for the guest house. Tomorrow's another day.

Day 4 - The Act d'Adoption

October 3, 2011

The Sisters signing the Act d'Adoption

Jeff signing

Me signing!

Today began with a big step. Jeff and I signed the Act d'Adoption, which is the official adoption document at the sector level. This document IS the adoption. The remaining steps are simply final approvals of our act. It was signed by the district head later in the day. We go to court later in the week for a judge to sign off.

The day started when Peter, our POA, picked us up at the guest house around 8am. We all piled into our wonderful white Toyota van, driven by Julius. Julius is an amazing driver and parker. It's amazing where he can squeeze that van. We drove about 15 minutes through traffic, pedestrians, motorbikes, and trucks in what's almost a high-speed, chaotic dance. Back at home, we shriek when someone gets within yards of our car on the road. Over here, cars get within inches of pedestrians, bikes, chickens, anything... and nobody even flinches.

We met Norbert (our lawyer's partner) at the sector court. We hopped a curb (there are no driveways...everyone hops curbs) and walked down a dimly lit hallway into the 2nd door on our left. Inside there were two assistants filling out giant ledgers in a tiny sweltering office. I'm sure it was cool at some point during the morning, but after you cram 10 people in a small office and another 5-10 in the hallway outside, it's a hot mess.

Sisters from the orphanage came and signed their approval of the adoption. After a few minutes, the Act d'Adoption was ready for us to sign. We each had to sign three times! Jeff signed the documents and then I went up to sign. It's amazing that after all of the waiting, paperwork, sleepless nights, fundraisers, etc., these are some of the most important signatures that we will ever pen, announcing to the world that we LOVE our BOY and that God has chosen HIM to be with US. Who knew that six signatures could cause so much emotion?

After we finished up at the sector court, we headed off to the Home of Hope. On our journey to the orphanage, Peter gave us the original photo of Miles. This is the first photo of our boy, standing on a stool, with a cute little outfit. This image that I have studied so much... I know his eyes, his lips, his ears, his hands. I have THAT photo in my hand... the ACTUAL photo!

While we continued on the bumpy road to see our boy, Peter told us that Miles was found when he was just two months old. I thought about this for a moment. If he was two months old and at the orphanage in July 2009, why wasn't he adopted with a family that requested a baby and traveled to Rwanda in January 2010? March 2010? Anytime 2010 or the beginning of 2011? He was and is a healthy boy and would've surely met someone's specifications. The only reason that I can come up with is that he is MEANT to be in our family. There's something about the finality of that... that he was chosen for our family... for me to love and call my son. I know that no matter how hard these few days, weeks and months may be, I know that I need him and he needs me.

Once we arrived at the orphanage, the nuns went to go get Miles (to them it's Ignatius or "natius" as he is called) and we waited to see him walk up the little hill. He cried when he had to be given to us (he still just loves those sisters!) but his crying didn't last long. He is still very stoic, but that's okay. We have all the time in the world, and we know just a little bit about being patient. (This was the morning visit. Our afternoon visit is where a little bit of magic happened.) Once the visit was over, he waved to us, but felt the most secure in the sister's white habit.

We left for lunch at Afrika Bite (pronounced "bee-tay" which means "what's up?" in Swahili). It was a buffet-style meal, served with Peter's favorite passion fruit juice. Yum. The food was wonderful and gave us all a little bit of the region's flavor. After lunch, we came back to the guest house to rest/nap and then headed back to the orphanage to see our little man again.

Once Miles calmed down (minute or so), we had a very nice visit. We read some books and tried to play with the car. It turned out he had the most fun taking things out of his backpack and then immediately putting them back into his backpack. Keeping his things organized? A child after my own heart!

Then the magic happened. I took a drink out of my water bottle and he looked at me, put his hands out, asking for the water. So, I handed him the water bottle and he started to chug it down. After each sip, we clapped and praised him, and then immediately asked for a high five. He did it! Several chugs and high fives later, we even got to see his elusive smile! It was a great moment. Progress.

Andrea, sound asleep under her "princess" mosquito net

We are all starting to feel a little sick, in various ways. I'm in a perpetual state of...well, you really don't want to know. Let's just say if Imodium had a Facebook page, I'd "like" it. Joe's strep throat has gotten better with antibiotics, and Jeff felt a little flu-like during the night. Andrea has fared the best thus far, just being tired...so tired that she skipped dinner tonight. We'll get through it. We have our eyes on the prize.

A beautiful boy has entered our family. We love him so much already and can hardly wait to get back home and start living!

Day Three

On Sunday October 2, 2011, my Dad and I went to the orphanage together to see my new baby brother! Joe and Maddie were feeling really sick, otherwise they would have gone too. The day before I stayed "home" with Joe and didn't go to the orphanage, so it had been a day since I had seen him. We arrive to the orphanage after picking up some meds for Joe at the pharmacy.

We waited a few minutes and then saw an older boy bringing him up the little hill around the corner, which they always do. Miles was dressed in a yellow and orange outfit… very handsome. My dad picked him up and he cried, but only for a good minute. Then he was his quiet, reserved, and stoic little self.

We talked with him and tried to interact. We pulled out the book to read, and he watched pretty well. We showed him some of the family pictures we brought. He likes the picture of our beagle, Ella Bella. There was another couple outside and we didn’t want any distractions, so we decided to go in to the little waiting room and sit with him.

As he was sitting on my dad's lap, he continued to look out the door (for the sisters no doubt) and didn't pay any attention to anything that we were going inside. My dad put the car out to offer it to him, but he moved his body away in rejection. OK. We put it on the table in front of him, so he could take it if he wanted to. I just happened to adjust the cross necklace my boyfriend Adrian gave me to wear on the trip, and I saw that Miles noticed it. So I moved my body to the right, and his eyes followed, and then to the left, and he followed again. I took it off and put it on the table in front of me and slowly moved it closer to him. His breath sped up, but he didn’t touch the cross or the car.

After a few moments, he moved his hand up as if to touch one of them, but like lighting, stopped himself. The wall was still intact.

I began to move my hand, wiggling my fingers opening and closing my hand. And then we looked and noticed that he was beginning to copy my hands with his.

We visited for a while, but soon it was time to go. We rang the bell to call the sisters. One came, but didn’t really seem to want to take him from us even though it was after visiting hours. During the visit we could hear drumming and singing. The sister asked if we wanted to join a celebration. We walked down a few steps and into a room about the size of an elementary school classroom. The beds had been moved to one side to create a dance floor and there were kids dancing everywhere, singing and clapping. We put Miles down and he went off with his little group of kids his age. The sisters invited us to sit and watch. Then a girl with special needs came over to me, grabbed my hand, and insisted I go to the middle of the room to dance with them. So I did! I followed along and clapped with them. The songs were so pretty (in the Rwandan language) and all the kids (young and old, about 25 of them) new the special beat to each song. They smiled and danced. It was one of the most beautiful things I have ever experienced. I loved seeing their smiles and watching their little personalities. The older girls (about 10-11 years old) wore white dresses and had wraps on their heads. They all knew the words and the dance moves very well. Each had their own sassy attitude when they danced.

During this little festivity, we watched Miles clap to the beat. One of the older boys got Miles up and led him through the kids to us. When he approached, he went to my dad to hold him! That lasted a minute. He soon got down but didn't leave. He just wanted to be a big independent boy and sit in the chair next to my dad. Moments later, he stood up and danced for a second. One of the nuns noticed and went "Oh look at Ignateous! He's dancing!" He looked up and gave her a big smile! It was the first time we had seen it. He is so sweet!

At the end of the party, one of the nuns brought out a huge basket of little candies. The kids ran and jumped at them! They were so excited.

Soon it was time to go. I was speechless with what I had just experienced. I had prayed to God before we went that I would be able to see his work and do his work. I prayed to have experiences that would change my life. I tried to hold back tears as we left, because to see all these children dancing and joyous touched my heart. The fact that I was able to share this celebration with them was something that I will never ever forget.

We gathered our stuff and walked to the door. When we looked back, I waved real big, like I had done earlier, and said bye to Miles. He lifted his hand and gave us a big strong wave goodbye.

Day Two with Miles

Saturday, October 1, 2011

We decided to sleep in today, Saturday, to try and get our inner clocks in sync with Rwanda. Joe was still feeling under the weather…we found out that it wasn't the malaria medicine after all. Joe brought an uninvited traveler with him…Strep throat. Jeff madly sent off e-mails to his brother Dave, Krista and his mom. Dave responded first. He spoke to a pharmacist and the on-call doctor who suggested amoxicillin. So Jeff will buy some of that at a pharmacy tomorrow.

We didn't want to leave Joe alone, so Andrea volunteered to stay with him so Jeff and I could go visit with Miles. It was difficult to leave Joe, but we knew that he would be safe at the guesthouse and Miles really needed us.

We went into the Home of Hope for the afternoon visit, from 3-5pm. We pulled up to OUR blue gates and honked for the doorman to open the gates. We pulled in and were ready to see Miles. We brought more toys today and books, hoping to spark his interest in something.

We saw the nun bring Miles up the path and he was dressed to the 9s. He had an orange plaid button-up shirt, a pair of dressy black shorts and some cute high top black boots. He looked pretty stylin'. Once he saw us, he knew something was up. He didn't really want to stay with us, but the nun did the hand-off to us like ripping a bandaid… quick and painless.

He cried today more than he did on Friday. The Holders (another family we know who just left Kigali) let us know that day two for them was a little more intense than day one, so we were prepared. His initial discomfort with us and the crying is actually a good thing. It shows his ability for attachment, something that will be critical in the weeks and months to come.

We showed Miles his toy car and he pushed it away with disgust. So, Jeff and I just held him close, patted his back and let him just do his thing, crying and calling out to the sister in a Rwandan word we couldn't understand. Eventually, he stopped crying, and we were able to read the Very Hungry Caterpillar from beginning to end, two times. He hasn't talked to us, but the nun said that he is a TALKER and that he always lets them know when one of the children is not doing what they should be doing.

It was a nice visit. We just need patience. He needs time. I think this journey has prepared us for the long journey ahead. Our family has waited almost two years for Miles, and we are prepared to continue this journey as long as it takes to have him feel whole and a part of our family. We feel so blessed to have him as a part of our family.

So day two is over. We are ready to see him again tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day, and a million days after that.

Africa New Life Guest House

6:46am Saturday 1 Oct 2011

Yesterday was amazing for so many reasons. We saw Miles for the first time. We arrived in Africa. Africa! We celebrated Maddie's birthday, eating a great African dinner at Republika with Peter and three other families, babies in tow, who are a few weeks ahead of us.

After a much needed good night's sleep, I'm just lying in bed. It's still mostly dark outside. Every so often, a dog barks. Aside from the uniqueness of the bird sounds, I could be anywhere in the world.

Gardens at the New Life Guest House

The Africa New Life Guest House where we're staying is a really nice place. Through the gates and up the driveway, the main house is surrounded by gardens. We have two rooms. Andrea and Maddie are in one with two double beds. Joe and I are next door in a room with three bunk beds. We share a bathroom. The guesthouse serves breakfast, lunch, and dinner. We look forward to eating here today, breakfast and lunch. We met another couple staying here who we found out founded the guest house back in 2006. They have a lot of stories to tell and provide a thorough history of the place.